Hello,
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I am embarking on the journey that will reconnect me to my spirit. About 9 years ago I completed my acupressure training and was about to go for a spiritual walk of the El Camino to cleanse myself after years of difficult work caring for my terminally ill parents. I trained and prepared and just as I was about to leave, my then husband was threatened with cancer once again and I canceled the trip. As I realize now, that was when I started to die, if not physically although that is when a lot of my physical problems started, spiritually I started to wither away.

On 9/10/01 I was ordained a minister and was certified as a acupressure therapist, I was on my way I thought toward a more spiritual life. As we all know 9/11 was a day that changed the world and subsequently my world. Being so close to it physically was jarring to me spiritually. I helped with the relief effort, unloaded trucks that were staging at the field 4 blocks away but I couldn't stop feeling the ones who had passed in the attack. I still remember the silence. Living close to Newark airport you get used to a lot of planes flying over head on their way to the airport. To have complete silence in the sky except for the occasional military jet doing flybys was deafening. As with everything else the world moved on from 09/11 but differently.

It was at that point I started to have serious accidents. It was as though I was placed in harms way which caused physical damage to my body. I realize now that as I withdrew from the spiritual world that the physical one was kicking my ass. I have had countless surgeries to fix broken or torn parts of my body. As I am today, I feel continuous pain in my back and knees which have and are being replaced. Hopefully, with the 2nd knee replacement, my days of repairs are over.

Throughout, this time my marriage of over 20 years disintegrated. Years of dealing with a brain injury due to an overdose of chemotherapy had altered both of us. My beautiful and smart daughters,(they take after their Dad) where very angry and wounded young ladies. With numerous diagnosis’s, mild brain injury, depression, Frontal temporal dementia, nuerotoxity, life as a family ceased. We separated in December of 2005 and were divorced in 2007. I spent most of this time raising the girls and we helped one another heal from all that had happened and in that healing became a stronger tight knit family. I am thankful for all that they are to me.

I’m happy to report that everyone has survived an in most cases flourished. The oldest is getting married to her longterm love and will be practicing law in a year and a half. The middle is studying her craft and loving the life of a musician and artist. The youngest will head off this September to start college and the next phase of her life. Hopefully it will be at Carnegie Mellon but wherever she winds up she will be a success.

Now to me, the most important person in this story. After years of supporting this family and running a business that was nothing more then a source of income in a very toxic industry and taking care of everyone, it’s now my turn. I have decided to sell my home and buy an RV and discover this country and discover myself once again. Over the past several years I got lost. I all but disappeared. Getting to this point was my goal, I just never anticipated the toll it would have on me.

Misson Acomplished! My girls are independent, self sufficient and ready for the world. My work here is done. My ex is stable and has chosen to stay here. He is back into playing music and enjoying his life once again. I wish him well. Now it is my turn.

I called a very dear friend of mine who is also a psychic and asked for a tune up. You see it has been so long since I played on the inner planes that I couldn’t remember how. Now that is truly a sad statement to make. Here I was in a house that is being dismantled or decluttered as the lingo now goes and I was stuck. I just couldn’t move forward, to the frustration of my daughters. So I called her and what we discussed was so illuminating and heart chakra opening that I feel like my old self for the first time in a long time. She pointed out that I had become one of them, stuck in the physical world. Spiritually I had been dying since I canceled my pilgrimage to the El Camino. I had sent a message to my physical and spiritual body that other people’s needs where more important than my own. From that point on I had been dying which was why my physical body was in such bad shape. Now I am moving forward not only physically but spiritually, which I hope will take me to places I have only dreamed of. To focus on my growth and wellbeing solely or soully from now on is going to be a great adventure and I am writing this blog so you can join in my adventure.